so basically i had a dream couple of nights ago and it was so weird that I’ve decided to share it with the world.
so basically, in the dream i was Kim Kardashian’s personal assistant, and me, Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian were walking down these set of stairs and there were like a block of houses, but instead of having numbers on the houses, people’s tumblr names would be floating above their houses and there was this house with a tumblr name about Kim Kardashian so Kim Kardashian was like “oh lets go say hi to the person”. So we knocked on the door and out came the fittest boy in all of mankind and Kim Kardashian was like “hey” and the boy was like “HI,HEY, OMFG KIM KARDASHIAN IS AT MY DOOR” and he was so happy. And for some weird reason Kim Kardashian had a penis and she said to the boy “if you didn’t have a penis, I’d totally fuck you” and the boy was like “no, but i want you to fuck me” and then the boy turned to me and asked me whether we could swap lower halves so that he has a vagina and i was like “NO!” and then Kim Kardashian started shouting at me so I was like “FINE!” and then he chopped my body off and i had to hold onto my head so it didn’t float, and then 2 minutes later he came back so that i had his lower half and my top half.
Half an hour later Kim Kardashian came out of,the house and completely ignored me, she walked right past me and she got into her helicopter and flew off leaving me there. 10 minutes later, the boy came outside and he was like “what are you still doing here?” and then i was like “ermm, im waiting for my lower half” and he was like “oh yeah” and he looked worried and i was like “what’s wrong?” and he was like “i dunno how to fix this” and i was like “WTH?!” and he was like “you need to come in” and i was like “why?” and he was like “cos my dad can fix this”. so we go inside his house and his dad’s like this famous indian actor and i was like ‘omfg’ but i kept my calm and his dad was like “what’s up?” and i explained it to him and he was like “lemme fix this” and he went out the back door and he said “don’t follow me” and left. The fit boy went to his room and i waited there for ages and his dad didn’t come back so i opened the back door and there was this huge haunted house and i opened the door to the haunted house and it turned out the dad was a wizard, and my mum, dad and brother were sitting on the sofa and he turned them into witches and they had warts on their noses and they looked ugly and then i woke up
there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades
I’ve never felt more at home in my life. Also, I can’t help but wonder just how jealous @humblethepoet is right now. Nom nom nom!! #SuperwomanInSpringfield #braceyourtimeline #krustyburger
THIS GUY WAS ALL LIKE BURPPP AND IM LIKE DUDE I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YO. AND HES LIKE YO. AND IM LIKE GUYYY. #SuperwomanInSpringfield #drunktalk #moestavern
Oops. My Scarborough is showing. #superwoman #malvern #scartown #baddie @unicornislandca
Putting on sunglasses seems to make people 10 times more attractive.
I’m pretty sure people who don’t read smut are in denial